Moving Is Filled With Goodbyes

Goodbye Takes Many Forms

Moving is a time of saying hello to unknown, future adventures.

It's also replete with goodbyes.

Saying Goodbye

Moving means saying farewell to grand things: jobs, co-workers, a house that was a home, friends and family.

There are also goodbyes to little things, those sparkles that brighten one's day. Like loving gestures whispered on the wind and permanently seared upon my heart. Now, without them, a pale cloud of thin sadness drifts over me.

It's the goodbye to a sumptuous farmers market filled with year-round delectable treats. Or the wistful farewell to a food co-op with a bulk section that inspired envy.

Goodbye To The Little Things

It's little conveniences that are figured out over the space of several years. To avoid frustrating freeway backups, I discovered bucolic back roads. I whisked through wide fields dotted with cows and horses, heads bent to the tufts of grass before them.

The car dealership that provided good service (how rare is that?) and courtesy car washes. Or, the best place to buy gas.

The hair stylist. I finally found a good hairdresser after enduring a series of terrible hair cuts. She listened to what I wanted. She knew her trade. My heart sinks to think of the hairdresser-search beginning again.

Goodbye To The Earth

I said goodbye to each plant and tree that I had planted in the front and back yards. I watched them grow and change through five years of seasons.

The maple tree in my front yard grew stronger and straighter than all my neighbors' trees planted at the same time. Maybe the water helped, maybe it was the love. 

That tree had a story. Soon after I moved in, one of the stakes holding the tree broke. The furniture maker who came to adjust a piece of furniture noted its state of disrepair. Without being asked, our goodbyes had already been said and we hadn't mentioned it, he drove back to my place with another one to replace it.

I happened to look out the window to see him at work. Each strike of his mallet on the stake was made with deliberate, careful attention. I didn't walk outside, not wanting to disturb this selfless act of caring. He never knocked on my door, never asked for recompense.

My heart still smiles when I think of it. His stake held tight over time against the fierce, delta winds. My maple tree reached to the sky with that firm support, straight and tall. 

I was able to thank him in person for his thoughtfulness, five years later when I had another piece of furniture to repair. He was sweetly proud of his handiwork and we stood together, admiring "our" straight tree.

I hope the new homeowners appreciate its regal beauty.

Little things, left behind as my car drove out of town.

Goodbye Held In The Heart

Use of The Radiance Technique® (TRT®) – TRT® hands-on supports us, especially when wistful feelings of loss pass over. It's not about making it go away, figuring it out, or shoving it down and putting a ribbon on top. 

It's the simplicity of a hand in your heart as you hold the loss, as you hold the love. The fire accessed with TRT® burns – quiet and steady. We are that fire deep within, burning bright, in gain and in loss.

Goodbye. Hello. The continuum of our lives.

 

Save This Article On Pet Loss For A Rainy Day

A Reference For When Pet Loss Occurs

Mark this post so you can refer to it when needed. This contains the 4-Part Series of articles on pet loss. Save it in your favorites, on a Pinterest board, in Evernote or Dropbox, wherever it is that you save articles.

With all four of them in one post, you have quick and easy access. You won't have to hunt around for them.

Make a "note to self" where it is. You may not need it for another 5 or even 10 years. Hopefully your pets are strong and healthy as you read this. But one day, these articles will come in handy for you. This 4-part series won't tell you "what to do" – but, rather, give you ideas of what is available for you. You'll know, from deep inside, what is right in your situation.

Part 1 – The Sorrow In A Song Of Loss

This article starts at the moment when we know we have to say goodbye, in the initial days of loss. Expressed in short phrases when sorrow is great, because even long prose is too much weight to bear.

Perhaps only some of the phrases resonate for you or speak to you. That's okay. Sometimes just reading the words of loss of others helps us not to feel so alone.

There are also ideas of how to support yourself through loss with use of The Radiance Technique®.


Part 2 – Saying Goodbye To Our Pets

This article is the full process of saying goodbye to our pets. The decisions of how we will go forward with it – in-home euthanasia or taking the pet to the vet. Here we support in-home euthanasia and yet, acknowledge and respect different choices. 

An important tip here is the use of a chux during the process. In my experience, no one mentions this, so it will be up to you to advocate for yourself and have a chux ready, whether at home or at the vet.


Part 3 – Prepare For The Goodbye To Our Pets

This article looks at the preparation you may want to take for your goodbyes. Discussed is how students of The Radiance Technique® (TRT®) can support themselves and their pets with TRT® hands-on as well as directing of energy.

It also prepares you for how fast it is and supports you in the grieving process. It talks about deep grief, great love and the path we walk during this time.


Part 4 – Give Other Pets Time To Say Goodbye

What a blessing we give our other four-legged members of the family when we give them time to grieve and acknowledge that their furry comrade-in-arms has fallen. This is as important for the human members of the family as it is for the furry ones. 

Through many of the articles, we talk about Lap of Love – A Veterinary Hospice & In-Home Euthanasia as an in-home euthanasia service. They are a wonderful resource for information to help you and your pet through the end-of-life process. If they are not available in your area, check your local listings. Many other veterinarians offer similar, at-home services.


Create An End-of-Life Pet Fund

An important take-away from this series is the idea of setting aside an "end-of-life pet fund." Over these many years of happiness with your pets, it is worthwhile to set aside money in a special fund that won't be touched until the day comes. A little nest egg of even $300–500 will be a welcome relief when the time of loss arrives.

You will then be able to make decisions based on what your heart tells you, not just on what your wallet says. It gives you freedom of choice.

Prepare For Pet Loss

No one wants to think about this, that a time of goodbye looms ahead for all of us. Yet, I firmly believe "forearmed is forewarned" and knowing our choices ahead of time benefits everyone. 

Tuck this away, somewhere where you can find it again.

And, in the meantime, carry on – enjoy, play, and create all the love you are able to muster with your beloved pet.